Thoughts in London at Christmas

Here's our stop!  Christmas in London ohhh goodie!  It's so magical at Christm--woa, you step off the train and instantly you're herded toward the exit with the thousand other mindless sheep.  I actually can't control where I'm walking.

Hey, I thought that after I got through the exit gates the crowds would subside. Where's a corner to duck into and take a deep breath?

Ohmygosh the British Library is so much cooler than I remember.  Am I seriously staring at Alice in Wonderland in Carroll's own handwriting?!  And here's some more -- Jane Austen, John Lennon, Mozart, da Vinci, what the heck! This is awesome! Hey there's that book of Renaissance ballads that I write about in my dissertation.  Wasn't expecting that.  Oh dear my feet are already tired.

Holy cow gotta jet. We'll be late for the Great Pudding Race!

Ahhh when you get off the busy streets it's not so manic. It's charming.  I could totally live here!

Ohmygosh everyone in the world decided to come to the Great Pudding Race too.  Get out of my face, people!  I could never live here.

Wow, I can't believe that guy agreed to wear tights and a pudding costume that is so, so dangerously short.  What fine entertainment to watch him awkwardly tug at it.

Is this race really happening? This is hilarious!

Ugh get out of my face people!  I'm hungry.  Must. escape. crowd. find. cheap. restaurant.

I swear I've never had thai curry so delicious. I like this pub.  Those ladies in the corner are totally Sex and the City.  Our waitress is amazingly chill for being so frenzied.

That old man has such a great beard that I must put some money in his violin case. And hey, his playing is amazing too.

Shame on me for shunning the National Portrait Gallery all this time. These are the portraits of all my Tudor friends!  [blank staring in awe]

My feet hurt. But the Underground is for suckers. £7.50. pah!  I'll walk to the shopping district, thank you.

Ohmygosh I knew the Christmas lights were going to be cool but I didn't know they'd be cool!  Look! Look at that!  Geez, look over there!

This is totally once in a lifetime! The one day downtown London is shut off to traffic! I've never realized how beautiful the architecture is. This is great.

Where did all these people come from. I swear there are not this many people on planet earth.  Must. escape. inside. shop.

What the heck?! I have never, never ever ever seen a shop so crowded in my life. This is a phenomenon to behold! Is this even real?

I'm glad I don't actually want to buy anything. Look at those massive queues.  The English must be so delighted to have so many queues on hand. Oh English people.  You deserve your crowds and queues.

Wow this is amazing! I love it!

I want to kill someone.  Must resist temptation to wield elbows as weapons.

It's totally okay to push someone else's umbrella if they are about to kabob your eye with it, right? oooo, that was satisfying. Bring on your umbrellas, people, I'll shove every one of 'em.

How is it that I married a man who will give me his hat when it's raining and get soaked himself?  Life is good. Okay get me out of here. Can we take the Underground back? Oh crap it's for suckers. Right, but.... hmm nevermind there's a queue stretching the length of the block, just to enter the station! Suckers. I'll walk, thank you.

I love trains.

Oh my home, my home! It's so quiet and peaceful and hidden away where no one can find me. Mmmm pajamas and big fat socks.  How wonderful to take three steps without getting stuck behind someone obnoxious!

How shameful.  Suppress it.
....Nope, it's there, must be honest with self.  I am Scrooge when he sings "I Hate People".  Must. revive. Christmas. spirit.